yes...it has been a while since my last post. Lots of things going on. It' been very difficult to stay afloat, so to speak. I must say that I wish my break had been a little more relaxed and easy going. I was troubled with a few things that kind of dampered my ability to have a good time.
My Thanksgiving was a bit boring. My family is not big on "sharing" holidays. We just kinda pass through each others' houses now and then. This year, no one came over. My grandparents and I were the only ones at my house. They ate at dinner time later in the evening, and I just kind of picked all day. As much as I enjoy not having a ton of people around, I kind of long for it. I hear all of these stories from people about the holidays and family time. I kind of wish I could tell similar stories. So for everyone who complains about Aunt Martha and Uncle Bob, think twice about it next time! :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Epitome
Well, Hmm...it has been a bit since I have blogged I guess, and things have been kind of a whirlwind. After being hospitalized last weekend and having to return home for a few days for a medical issue, I have reached some realizations.
I have always been the type who has strived to be the best at everything that I try. In school, I like to have the answers, in dance I like having the steps right, in gymnastics I like being able to land the trick just perfectly. I've always been very self-driven. Being this way has been beneficial, but it has also been a burden. When I don't have the answers, or get the steps right, or land the trick right, I'm very hard on myself and wonder what my "problem" is.
Through being sick, I have had to learn the hard lesson that things are not always pristine and perfect. Sometimes, there is not a clear answer. I have had to come to terms with this, and the only thing that has kept me sane through it all is knowing that God has a plan. It has been said that your greatest test becomes your testimony. I can only hope that the Lord has put me through all of this as a means to train me for the amazing plans that he has in store. This is the first time in my life I have looked at being sick as a positive thing. It is also the first time I have felt called to do something. I want to be able to help others who struggle with the same thing that I am. It takes going through something to truly understand it.
So...I'm just here to say that when adults always told us how important our health is, it was true. As young people, it's hard for us to understand that, but you can't very well thrive in school or sports or whatever if you're laying in a hospital bed or 6 feet under...
Take care!!! Take it from someone who's paying an exspensive price!!
I have always been the type who has strived to be the best at everything that I try. In school, I like to have the answers, in dance I like having the steps right, in gymnastics I like being able to land the trick just perfectly. I've always been very self-driven. Being this way has been beneficial, but it has also been a burden. When I don't have the answers, or get the steps right, or land the trick right, I'm very hard on myself and wonder what my "problem" is.
Through being sick, I have had to learn the hard lesson that things are not always pristine and perfect. Sometimes, there is not a clear answer. I have had to come to terms with this, and the only thing that has kept me sane through it all is knowing that God has a plan. It has been said that your greatest test becomes your testimony. I can only hope that the Lord has put me through all of this as a means to train me for the amazing plans that he has in store. This is the first time in my life I have looked at being sick as a positive thing. It is also the first time I have felt called to do something. I want to be able to help others who struggle with the same thing that I am. It takes going through something to truly understand it.
So...I'm just here to say that when adults always told us how important our health is, it was true. As young people, it's hard for us to understand that, but you can't very well thrive in school or sports or whatever if you're laying in a hospital bed or 6 feet under...
Take care!!! Take it from someone who's paying an exspensive price!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
McDonald's or McNut House?
So, what a long hum drum weekend I had. I was, and have been, extremely tired all the time. I'm a bit of an insominiac, so that doesn't help matters out a whole lot when I'm TRYING to get back into a normal sleep cycle. Oliver and I ended up making a 3am run to Wal-Mart and McDonald's. It eneded up being a little adeventure. We drove up to the window and this loud voice comes over the intercome "Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take ya ordah?" Oliver wanted to know if they were serving breakfast, so I asked. "Jus one min. Hold on a min." So...we waited for like 5 miniutes. "Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take ya ordah?" "Umm...are you serving breakfast." "No! No!" "Ok, well, can I get a #6 with a blue powerade?" "Jus a min. hold on one min." A few min. passed. She finally comes back. "Hello?!? Hello?!? Welcome to McDonald's. Hello?!?" "Umm. Yeah. A #6 WITH A BLUE POWERADE." "Yeah. yeah. drive up to the first window." We drive to the window and no one is there. We sit for a minute, and finally an arm starts waving spiratically out of the second window. We laugh and drive to the second window. "This ain't no powerade sir. I don't what its doin. It's spewin some kinda weird junk out. This aint no blue powerade." Oliver asked for Fruitopia. "Ok. Let's see what this thing's gonna do. Ok there it go. It's comin on out. Yep. That's Strawberry Fruitopia alright!"
We cracked up the entire time. This woman must have been lethargic from working so long, or going in late. Either way, she was just a bit loopy. For our entertainment, of course. Funny how humans get a kick out of what trials other humans are going through.
We cracked up the entire time. This woman must have been lethargic from working so long, or going in late. Either way, she was just a bit loopy. For our entertainment, of course. Funny how humans get a kick out of what trials other humans are going through.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Abercrombie and people watching
Not an entirely eventful weekend. I had the room to myself again. That is always nice. My roommate went to Oxford. Her family has a house there and they go to the games quite often. I went shopping this weekend at NorthPark and got a job! Whoop whoop. Like I really have time for one. It kind of fell into my lap though. I was looking in Abercrombie and the visual manager for all the stores (the adult and kids store and Hollister) approached me and asked me about modeling some of the clothes at the store and going to different events. I thought about it and told him how busy I was, but he told me about the flexibility. It is a seasonal job. Just for the fall and winter (Oct-Dec), so if I don't want to do it after then I don't have to. Plus I get 50% off of select items, 30% off of all of the clothing on the floor. And a choice of 2 shirts and a pair of jeans for each season. I'm going to roll with it. I think prancing around in cool clothes beats flipping a burger any day!!
While I was in the mall, I was watching people. I'm an observer, so I'm always analyzing people and things. I stated thinking about how uncomfortable a lot of people are with themselves. Young girls dressing to look 10 years older, women striving to be 10 years younger. Boys trying to play it cool for the ladies. colored contacts, hair extensions, a million other things that "alter" us. What messages are we sent on a daily basis that tells us all we aren't good enough the way we are? Apparently not the message the Lord sent. I know that I fall victim to this feeling of inadequacy quite often. How messed up....we all have our problems and it's all just a matter of how we solve them. Being settled with oneself is a difficult task, but God makes all things possible.
Oh, and I found a cool remixed version of smells like teen spirit. Ha outta nowhere I know. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
While I was in the mall, I was watching people. I'm an observer, so I'm always analyzing people and things. I stated thinking about how uncomfortable a lot of people are with themselves. Young girls dressing to look 10 years older, women striving to be 10 years younger. Boys trying to play it cool for the ladies. colored contacts, hair extensions, a million other things that "alter" us. What messages are we sent on a daily basis that tells us all we aren't good enough the way we are? Apparently not the message the Lord sent. I know that I fall victim to this feeling of inadequacy quite often. How messed up....we all have our problems and it's all just a matter of how we solve them. Being settled with oneself is a difficult task, but God makes all things possible.
Oh, and I found a cool remixed version of smells like teen spirit. Ha outta nowhere I know. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Blog #3
So...I'm sitting outside. Just thinking...my favorite thing to do at 2am! Feeling the breeze(and a bit lethargic!) and just chillling out and being connected with the environment.Perfect time for blogging...right? Not that it's a requirement or anything...
The initial change of a season is delightful! Yes...delightful. Ha. I really enjoy the feeling of going into a new season. Autumn is my favorite. Something about the crispness of the air. Kind of bitter-sweet. A cool kiss. Like a stick of winterfresh. Not quite the numbness of ice. Just enough to leave ya fresh. And alive. And kind of floaty.
In thinking of this, I wonder why it is so hard for us to adapt to other changes while some changes make us kind of ...I dunno...euphoric? What does the change as something as simple as the season mean? Not just about the weather. Does it mean that we too can somehow start over? We can mold ourselves differently and have a new slate? Is that why we are mostly open to this sort of change? I deem it plausible to think so. With that in mind, are other changes then particularly difficult because we are challenged in some way? We are forced to show our true colors? Afraid to venture into murky waters?
Fall.
The air smells like a time when funnel cakes and candy apples intertwined with resonating giggles. Childhood. A time when we upchucked from spinning ...arms wide...head to the sky. When blood wasn't rare, but was derived from true physical trauma...beginning from the outside and creating melancholy within. A cut or scrape. The trauma of just being a child.
Now sometimes the sadness begins from within and eventually finds its way out ya know?? And we start spinning and beg for some way to stop. The days of being a kid were merely blissful. Innocent to the World. Just going through the day to play. No worries of hurting or being hurt.
So, two different feelings from the crisp air. Perhaps I should become one with mother nature more often. :-)
The initial change of a season is delightful! Yes...delightful. Ha. I really enjoy the feeling of going into a new season. Autumn is my favorite. Something about the crispness of the air. Kind of bitter-sweet. A cool kiss. Like a stick of winterfresh. Not quite the numbness of ice. Just enough to leave ya fresh. And alive. And kind of floaty.
In thinking of this, I wonder why it is so hard for us to adapt to other changes while some changes make us kind of ...I dunno...euphoric? What does the change as something as simple as the season mean? Not just about the weather. Does it mean that we too can somehow start over? We can mold ourselves differently and have a new slate? Is that why we are mostly open to this sort of change? I deem it plausible to think so. With that in mind, are other changes then particularly difficult because we are challenged in some way? We are forced to show our true colors? Afraid to venture into murky waters?
Fall.
The air smells like a time when funnel cakes and candy apples intertwined with resonating giggles. Childhood. A time when we upchucked from spinning ...arms wide...head to the sky. When blood wasn't rare, but was derived from true physical trauma...beginning from the outside and creating melancholy within. A cut or scrape. The trauma of just being a child.
Now sometimes the sadness begins from within and eventually finds its way out ya know?? And we start spinning and beg for some way to stop. The days of being a kid were merely blissful. Innocent to the World. Just going through the day to play. No worries of hurting or being hurt.
So, two different feelings from the crisp air. Perhaps I should become one with mother nature more often. :-)
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Blog #2
I'm getting used to being at MC. Things seem to be getting a little better for me. Maybe it just takes some people more time to get into the swing of things. Being able to accept surroundings is a key in becoming comfortable.
My birthday was Thursday. My wonderful friend, Caroline, paid for my lunch at Newk's (Thanks!!) Ann-Carter threw me a surprise party in her dorm. It was great! I wasn't expecting her to do that...really. Her roommate baked me a strawberry cake, which was delicious. Annie, her sister, and their mom got me a ticket to go with them to the Reba and Kelly concert in November. I'm pretty excited about that. Now I have something to look forward to. So, all around, I had a pretty nice day!
I came home for the weekend. I relly didn't want to, but my nana kept insisting that I come home. I think someone is missing me. Haha. I think she gave that I second thought when I handed her my laundry bag. When I was driving back into my town, I realized that I kind of missed it. I never thought that I would say that...ever. But I guess that is part of going away from home...learning what you do and don't like about being somewhere different than you're used to.
My birthday was Thursday. My wonderful friend, Caroline, paid for my lunch at Newk's (Thanks!!) Ann-Carter threw me a surprise party in her dorm. It was great! I wasn't expecting her to do that...really. Her roommate baked me a strawberry cake, which was delicious. Annie, her sister, and their mom got me a ticket to go with them to the Reba and Kelly concert in November. I'm pretty excited about that. Now I have something to look forward to. So, all around, I had a pretty nice day!
I came home for the weekend. I relly didn't want to, but my nana kept insisting that I come home. I think someone is missing me. Haha. I think she gave that I second thought when I handed her my laundry bag. When I was driving back into my town, I realized that I kind of missed it. I never thought that I would say that...ever. But I guess that is part of going away from home...learning what you do and don't like about being somewhere different than you're used to.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Blog #1
Well, it's Friday night and what joy I am experiencing at this very moment. I'm so overpowered by the enthusiasm of my weekend that I decided that I would blog... :-/ My roommate has left for the weekend and I have the room to myself (no complaints.) In sitting alone in the room I guess I've had some time to reflect on my experience here at MC. Well, I've had time to reflect on just about all aspects of being away from home.
I'm not sure that I'm enjoying being in college all that much.!?! The classes are okay. The teachers are fine. There are nice people. The..um.."food" in the caf...well, let's save that for another day. Anyway, I'm just not too overjoyed about being in college. I mean, seriously, it is what it is. I didn't enjoy the sugar coated aspect of welcome week. I can only be chipper and cheeky for so long. Dorm life is nothing short of nausea inducing. (In some ways that I'd rather not discuss. ha.) It's just that...I feel like I'm at camp. Let's all link arms and sing "Kumbaya!"
:-D....I'd rather not. It's hard for me to make myself be giggly and goofy when I'm not. Wow, in reading this I sound extremely pessimistic! Maybe that's where I am at this point. I am okay with that. I'm just used to being alone and being very independent in all areas. I was raised by my grandparents basically as an only child, so I have always observed things through a kind of mature/wise perspective.
I do enjoy being able to go where I want when I want. Although, it was like that at home too. Atleast here though if I happen to be awake at 2am and feel the sudden urge to drive to Wal-Mart (?) I can. I have become severely independent in my driving! At home, my grandparents were always uneasy about me driving in "large places." It may not be very safe to drive random places, but I always find my way back and teach myself about where places are! I'd much rather figure it out than try to listen to a million different people. Besides, I don't always know exactly what I'm looking for until I find it. Ya know? That's enough excitemet for now.
peace
I'm not sure that I'm enjoying being in college all that much.!?! The classes are okay. The teachers are fine. There are nice people. The..um.."food" in the caf...well, let's save that for another day. Anyway, I'm just not too overjoyed about being in college. I mean, seriously, it is what it is. I didn't enjoy the sugar coated aspect of welcome week. I can only be chipper and cheeky for so long. Dorm life is nothing short of nausea inducing. (In some ways that I'd rather not discuss. ha.) It's just that...I feel like I'm at camp. Let's all link arms and sing "Kumbaya!"
:-D....I'd rather not. It's hard for me to make myself be giggly and goofy when I'm not. Wow, in reading this I sound extremely pessimistic! Maybe that's where I am at this point. I am okay with that. I'm just used to being alone and being very independent in all areas. I was raised by my grandparents basically as an only child, so I have always observed things through a kind of mature/wise perspective.
I do enjoy being able to go where I want when I want. Although, it was like that at home too. Atleast here though if I happen to be awake at 2am and feel the sudden urge to drive to Wal-Mart (?) I can. I have become severely independent in my driving! At home, my grandparents were always uneasy about me driving in "large places." It may not be very safe to drive random places, but I always find my way back and teach myself about where places are! I'd much rather figure it out than try to listen to a million different people. Besides, I don't always know exactly what I'm looking for until I find it. Ya know? That's enough excitemet for now.
peace
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